Under Pressure

Mistakes and pressure are inevitable; the secret to getting past them is to stay calm.

Travis Bradberry

Y’all, I did a thing. I applied to Temple University and I got in. For the Fall Term. Like in 3 months I will be in college again.

Matt has been bugging me for years to go back to school for another degree. He was thinking Business. However, I don’t do well with numbers and I don’t really have any desire to own my own business after seeing how stressed it has made my mom with her small business over the years. Both seem pretty integral to running a business.
What did I want to do? What do I love to do? Because it has to be something I love to do in order to take me away from the boys and from Matt. If you have read any previous posts you might now know that I love the outdoors and I love gardening. So, I did what most people would do. I Googled “Master Gardener classes”. I looked in to becoming a Master Gardener, but for Bucks County the course for that isn’t offered for another 2 years – thanks Covid. I looked at Associate’s Degrees at the local community college. Nothing. That lead me to “Horticulture”. And wouldn’t you know it – Temple University had an Associate’s Degree in Horticulture. Better yet, their Horticulture program was not on their main campus in Philly but at their campus in Ambler, which is 25 minutes from our house! Woohoo. I set up an interview to discuss the program. I got all my questions answered and decided, why not? It’s $55 to apply. Go for it!
I did. And in typical “me” fashion, in the drop down menu where I choose what degree I was interested in, I came across “Landscape Architecture”. Hmm, that sounds interesting. Read some more about it, “hmm, that sounds like exactly what I want to do.” So, long story short, I have escalated from a ONE COURSE, 50 volunteer hour certification of Master Gardener to a Bachelor of Science in Landscape Architecture. From a weekend class and then some to a 4 year degree. Yep, I did that all on my own people. I’m crazy.

Now, I think I have mentioned this before. I love my family very, very much. I think I’m a pretty alright mom. I do yell at the boys more than I like. I try to be there for them and love on them as much as they will let me. I want them to know that they are by far the most important things in my life. And I’m pretty decent at taking care of Matt. I also try to make him feel that he is the most important thing in my life. That his happiness and comfort and safety is up there on the daily.
But, the boys are getting older and needing me less. And I don’t want to get on in life and look back and say “I did great taking care of my guys, but I never did anything that really sparked life in me.” That isn’t to say that being a wife/mom/caregiver doesn’t bring me fulfillment, but it also doesn’t spark a passion in me. I’ve never been drawn to the medical fields so being a caregiver is more because I love Matt more than words can accurately describe than because it is something I want to do.
And I feel a little (lot) selfish for doing this thing for myself. It’s going to put a lot of strain on our daily life as a family. But Matt convinced me to do it. It’s not something I think I would have done if it wasn’t for him pushing me. I had to convince myself also because I already have a degree I didn’t really do a ton with. I used it for maybe 2 years. As a Navy pilot’s wife there was not a whole lot of job opportunities at the bases we were stationed. Because I don’t want to put this strain on my family if it’s something I won’t use. Something I will wake up every day and be excited to go to work to do. Something that has potential in our area for the long term.
Sooooo, if anyone is in the greater Bucks County area and knows of a top notch home aid that is looking for some hours in the fall, we have got a job for them. We are going to see if I thrive under pressure!

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